Always Right: Can Toxic Shame Cause Someone To Believe They Are Always Right?
There are going to be times in someone’s life where they are right and there are going to be times when they are wrong. If human beings were all-knowing, then this wouldn’t be something that would occur.
However, as it is not possible for someone to know everything there is to know, there are going to be times when they are wrong. This is not something for one to be ashamed of; it is simply part of life.
Yet, although this is the case, it doesn’t mean that one is able to accept this fact. And as a result of this, it can cause someone to come across as though they are always right.
Men and Women
It is often said that women are always right and that men are always wrong, and vice versa. What this shows is that this doesn’t just relate to one gender, and that both genders can have the same outlook.
One may have a boss who acts in this way, a member of their family, or they could be in a relationship with someone like this. Therefore, it doesn’t matter whether someone is male or female, or what role they play in society.
Disconnected
When someone does come across in this way, it is going to show that they are disconnected from themselves. They are no longer in touch with the fact that they are a fallible human being, and that it is not possible for them to be perfect.
But even though one is out of touch with their true nature, it doesn’t mean they realise this. They could be completely convinced that they are ‘always right, and it is then not just an outlook they have – it is the truth of who they are.
Superiority
Through having this outlook, it is going to be normal for someone to believe that they are superior to others. Unlike other human beings who have moments where they get things wrong; this is not something they are familiar with.
However, even though they have this outlook, it doesn’t mean that other people are always going to agree with them. While there are likely to be people who do look up to them, there are going to be others who see them as deluded.
Denial
And in order for them to maintain the identity that they have formed, it will be important for them to overlook the times where they are wrong. They may have developed the ability to know how to win when it comes to arguments.
Facing reality is not going to a priority; what will be a priority is using denial to protect themselves from having to face reality. How they are seen in the eyes of others will take precedence over their need to grow.
Growth
Even if someone is classed as being intelligent, they are still going to be learning new things every day. This is because change is part of life, and new information is constantly being created.
When one believes they are always right, it is going to stop them from being able to embrace that fact that learning is a lifelong pursuit. And as a result of this, they are going to stop themselves from growing.
Out of Balance
One’s need to be right will have created an impenetrable field around them, and this is going to stop them from being able to receive. And while this is going to cause them to suffer in one way or another, it will be important for them to stop others from realising this.
Creativity and Curiosity
It may also be challenge for them to be creative, and this is because they are stuck on the inside. All the time nothing is changing internally, there is not going to be possible for them to create anything new.
The desire to learn something is result of one being curious, and if someone believes they know everything, it is going to stop them from being curious. Similar to how if one has just eaten a meal, they are not going to be hungry
Highly Knowledgeable
However, even though there will be some people who have this outlook and don’t take the time to learn, there will be others who will be obsessed with learning. They might end up being focused on one area, or they might find out as much as they can about everything.
Through knowing so much, it will give them the knowledge they need to act as though they are always right and that they know everything. But as they can only learn so much and they don’t have god-like powers, this is approach is not going to work.
Two Experiences
When someone believes that they are always right or that they know everything, it shows that it is not possible for them to be wrong or to admit that they don’t know everything. They are going to experience life differently to someone who believes they are always wrong and that they don’t know anything.
But although each experience is different on the outside, there a strong chance that their inner experience is the same. While one person has ended up being overwhelmed by how they feel, the other person has gone to the other extreme.
Reaction Formation
As a way to avoid how they feel about themselves, they have created a false self. This has caused them to disconnect from the fact they are simply human, and it has caused them to believe that they are more-than human.
If they were to come back down to earth and to face up to the fact that it is not possible for them to always be right or to know everything, they are going to have to face how they feel. This is likely to be a time where they end up feeling as though they are less-than human, and this is going to mean that they are carrying toxic shame.
Toxic Shame
Being wrong or not knowing everything is going to be seen as something that will cause other people to see how flawed they are and to abandon them. Toxic shame will have infiltrated their whole being, and this will have caused them to be disconnected from their inherent worth.
And this will mean that if they are unable to come across as though they are above others, they will have to come across as though they are below them. What this shows is how painful toxic shame is, and how one will do everything they can to avoid it.
Where Did It Come From?
While one may have developed a shame based identity as a result of what has taken place in their adult years, it is more likely to have come about through the experiences they had during their childhood. During these years, one may have been abused and/or neglected.
Awareness
Toxic shame makes one want to hide, and this is why it will be important for them to come out of hiding. This doesn’t mean that someone physically hides, as they could just as easily hide behind a mask.
A therapist and/or a support group can give one the support they need to let go of their false self. This can take place through one grieving their unmet childhood needs and for their inherent worth to be affirmed.
